Advent has only begun, and I am already feeling anxious about putting up my Christmas tree. A year ago I put up a small tree at the last minute, but it wasn't much of a display. I was so wrapped up in my recent arrival to Youngstown, that the holiday season had other priorities more important than house decorations. This year I have already stared with trepidation at the storage shelf in the old coal bin of the church house which contains dilapidated boxes full of Christmas decorations. What will this season bring?

Two years ago my Christmas tree was a beautiful sight to behold. There were 1100 white lights aglow, casting a romantic halo of light on each of my tree ornaments, all of which have a story to tell. I have ornaments that adorned my grandparents and parents trees, as well as some glue, glitter, and paper creations that I had made in Sunday School over five decades ago. My newer ornaments might look more spectacular, but they don't have as much to say about who I am.

Back to my anxiety. While my Christmas tree was a beautiful illuminated symbol of the season, there were days when I was ready to set it on the curb with the trash. Day by day I would be confronted with a different string of lights that went out. I was trapped in a daily ritual of replacing fuses, looking for those loose wires, replacing whole strands, and practically losing my religion over the whole mess. When fiddling with the tree, several ornaments would get broken, including the aluminum foil and tooth pick snowflake I had made in third grade. By the time Epiphany arrived, I had succumbed to allowing my tree to have dark spaces where lights would only tease me by flickering on momentarily.

Nevertheless, I am ready to try again. From the grayness of December comes the desire to light up the world. Christmas is like a rose in bloom at sunrise. Snowy streets shimmer in red and green and gold. Scarlet poinsettias glow by hearths. Angels guard every room.

In this special season, we break out of a preoccupation with our private woes and wants. We are drawn out of the tedium of our routines. From within us comes the desire to give new light and life to the lives close to us. We are reborn with a wish to give and forgive. The light of Christmas gives warmth to cold human hearts, and once again love believes and hopes all things. The fact that I face the birthday of Jesus every year with a new desire to bring light to the dark places of my life is proof enough that miracles of birth and rebirth still occur.

Merry Christmas!